The Music Tank

So, I missed the Strikeforce card on Saturday, where Frank Shamrock broke his arm, but I did see Wrestlemania! Yeah, if there’s no MMA marks that read this there’s sure as hell no smarks that read this.

This is the first really late STF. It’s past noon and it’s not done. And I’m gonna take my time too. I even spelled “going to” in a manner in which I hate. Alright, here we go!

PEOPLE SUING PEOPLE (OR, I REALLY COULDN’T THINK OF A GOOD TITLE FOR THIS)

The Associated Press reports that the SMASHING PUMPKINS are suing Virgin Records, saying the record label has illegally used their name and music in promotional deals that hurt the band’s credibility with fans.

In a breach-of-contract lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court Monday, the rockers said they have “worked hard for over two decades to accumulate a considerable amount of goodwill in the eyes of the public,” and that Virgin’s use of the band in a “Pepsi Stuff” promotion with Amazon.com and Pepsi Co. threatens their reputation for “artistic integrity.”

Virgin put out the SMASHING PUMPKINS’ music for more than 17 years, but the only active agreement between the two parties, the lawsuit claimed, is a deal granting Virgin permission to sell digital downloads of the band’s songs.

Credit: Blabbermouth

Smashing Pumpkins frontman Billy Corgan spoke recently about the lawsuit the band filed this week against Virgin Records for using the Pumpkins in a promotional campaign with Amazon.com and Pepsi. “I’m sure they indicated to Pepsi that they had a right to do this, full well knowing they do not have the right,” he said by phone from Australia, where the band is touring.

Corgan says he has been feuding for years with Virgin over the handling of the Pumpkins’ back catalog, but that the Pepsi/Amazon.com promotion “crosses the Rubicon. You’re going to see more of this playing fast and loose with the rules, hoping they don’t get caught. At face value, it’s not a huge deal. But in terms of precedent, it is, because there will be much more of this coming.”

The problem is that according to the contract the Pumpkins renegotiated with Virgin in the late ’90s, both parties are partners where the catalog is concerned. Corgan claims he’s made frequent overtures to Virgin about repositioning the back catalog, offering expanded editions of vintage albums and releasing archival material, but has been met with resistance at every step of the way.

“We’ve made offers to buy it all,” he says. “Look, you have no interest. Let us just buy it. But they won’t put a number on it. They’ve atrophied the catalog down so low that they probably hope we’ll crawl back and ask for cash.”

Credit: Billboard.com

I have no witty comment about this really. I think Billy Corgan suing stuff makes for good headlines though.

FEEL GOOD HIT OF THE SUMMER

The UK Sun posted this. I don’t have a link for them because I don’t want to look it up right now.

A source tells the paper: “Amy has admitted she needs to check into rehab again. There are too many temptations for her in the UK — people around her in London are making it impossible for her to stay clean for any length of time. Her management had considered flying her to a clinic in Israel but are now looking further afield. They are assessing a clinic in Cape Town in South Africa.”

Wasn’t she just in rehab? Maybe I should get shitfaced, make a retro soul album and then just keep going to rehab and I can achieve infinite fame as well!

METAPHYSICAL?

Uncut magazine has issued the following report: from an interview they had with Robert Plant:

Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant has said that it is still highly unlikely that the band will go on a full-blown world tour, but there is a chance of more one-off perfomances, if the reason was right. In the May edition of the magazine, the singers states that “Hopefully, one day, we could do it again. Our profit is - it’s metaphysical.”

Credit: Bravewords.com

How much is metaphysical? Would you need a metaaccountant to keep track of that much money? A metabank to keep it in?

I WANT CHINESE DEMOCRACY TO BE RELEASED, BUT ONLY IF I GET A DR PEPPER

Holy crap, I’ve been doing my crediting backwards.

Okay, here goes:

From Billboard.com:

Dr. Pepper has announced plans for a unique contest that will coincide with the release of Chinese Democracy, the oft-delayed Guns N’ Roses album.

The basic premise of the contest is that Dr. Pepper will give away a free can of soda to “everyone in America” if Chinese Democracy is released sometime between now and December 31st, 2008.

“It took a little patience to perfect Dr Pepper’s special mix of 23 ingredients, which our fans have come to know and love,” Dr Pepper director of marketing Jaxie Alt says. “So we completely understand and empathize with Axl’s quest for perfection — for something more than the average album. We know once it’s released, people will refer to it as ‘Dr Pepper for the ears’ because it will be such a refreshing blend of rich, bold sounds - an instant classic.”

And from Bravewords:

Guns N’ Roses vocalist Axl Rose issued the following comment regarding the Dr. Pepper offer:

“We are surprised and very happy to have the support of Dr. Pepper with our album Chinese Democracy as for us this came totally out of the blue. If there is any involvement with this promotion by our record company or others we are unaware of such at this time. And as some of Buckethead’s performances are on our album I’ll share my Dr. Pepper with him. ~ Axl Rose”

That’s a lot of fucking cola. Seriously. I hope they expand this offer to Canada as well. I should get a Dr Pepper for having to endure a new Guns ‘n’ Roses album!

WORST. GIFT. EVAR.

From Music News:

Rod Stewart has launched his own clothing line, designing a range of items including T-shirts, tracksuit tops, baby bibs and official “Rod Stewart Panties”, which have love hearts and “Isn’t it romantic?” emblazened across the front.

A lot of the designs, which are available from his official website, feature lyrics from his songs, including “You’re In My Heart”.

Rod’s daughter Kimberly has her own clothing line, Pinky Star Fish.

I interrupt myself to tell you that I’ve gotten my 4,567,234th Facebook alert today and it’s driving me up the fucking wall.

Now as for the Rod Stewart panties, all I can say is that I don’t think that’ll go over well as Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Birthday, Easter, Bat Mitvah or anytime gift.

FATTY FATTY TWO BY FOUR

From Music News:

Jared Leto, who plays John Lennon’s killer Mark Chapman in Chapter 27, revealed gaining 60 lbs to play Chapman left him unable to walk.

He said: “My body was in shock from the amount of weight I gained. I don’t know if it was gout - but I had a definite problem with my feet. I couldn’t walk for long distances. I had a wheelchair because it was so painful.”

Jared also explained: “It was important to make that transformation. It changed everything about who I was - the way I walked, talked, how I felt about myself and the way people treated me. It was interesting to see what people thought - some obviously thought I’d let myself go.”

He added: “I’d never do it again, it definitely gave me some problems. It took about a year to feel semi-normal. I don’t know if I’ll ever be back to the place I was physically.”

Yes Jared, you can got back to the place you were physically. Go run around the block a bit. That’s how I do it anyhow.

I CAN’T THINK OF A TITLE THAT WON’T GET US BOOTED FROM OUR HOST

From Music News:

The Pussycat Dolls, famed for their raunchy routines, must pay $3,400 for flashing body parts during a concert in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia, last July. During the routine, Carmit Bachar, who has since left the group, exposed a breast while Ashley Roberts was accused of revealing her private parts after her tiny pair of shorts left little to the imagination.

Promoters Absolute Entertainment was fined for allowing their act to perform “sexually suggestive” routines in the strict Muslim country. The penalty was imposed by the council which manages the Kuala Lumpur suburb where the event took place. The fine itself followed a complaint from Malaysia’s culture minister Rais Yatim, who said the group’s concert featured “scantily dressed performers” and “sensuous elements”. He added: “I believe the way the Pussycat Dolls behaved on stage amounted to gross indecency,”

Under the country’s Muslim laws, a female performer must be covered from her shoulders to her knees. Jumping, shouting or throwing of objects onstage or at the audience are all also banned.

I can’t refrain from making an flammatory comment that’ll get us kicked off the host, so I’ll just refrain.

PETA TOM FOOLERY

From 411mania:

Aretha Franklin’s $19,000 tax bill will be paid by PETA if she promises never to wear fur again. Franklin - who was crowned Biggest Loser by the animal rights activists last month for her love of fur - is close to having her Michigan home repossessed unless she can come up with the money.

PETA have agreed to settle the bill if she agrees to their terms, which also includes handing over her collection of fur coats. In a letter to Aretha, PETA stated: “We would like to help you out by paying the approximately $19,000 in back taxes that you owe - if you’ll agree to save animals from hideous suffering and death by promising never to wear fur again and donating your old furs to PETA. We are absolutely sincere in making this offer - we believe that you know in your heart that your fans will love you even more if you make a fur-free resolution. Our offer is a win-win situation. You get to keep your home, and animals get to keep their lives. We are rooting for you to please give animals the R-E-S-P-E-C-T that they deserve by giving up fur.”

What are PETA going to do with the furs? I’d like to know. No, that comment wasn’t funny but a) I can’t be on all the time and b) I’m actually curious.

I GOTTA UPDATE MY THISIS50 PAGE

From Reuters:

50 Cent has more than 1 million friends on MySpace, but if the rapper ever decides to leave the social network, he’ll be leaving behind those friends, too. So like a growing number of artists, he’s started his own social networking site. On Thisis50.com, fans can create profiles and friend lists just like on MySpace, but 50 Cent has direct access to the site’s users and their e-mail addresses.

More and more acts, from Kylie Minogue to Ludacris to the Pussycat Dolls, are launching their own social networks, which are becoming a sort of next-generation version of artist Web sites. The social networking component gives fans a reason to hang out on a site and visit more often than they would a standard Web site. And artists can sell advertisements on their sites and offer downloads and merchandise for sale, options they don’t have on MySpace or Facebook. Plus, they own the content and data on how fans use their site, which they don’t get on other social networks.

“The thing that separates Thisis50 from MySpace is we control the e-mail database,” says Chris “Broadway” Romero, director for new media at G-Unit Records, which handles Thisis50. “We can e-mail members if we want to.”

Thisis50 isn’t meant to be a fan club, but rather a platform for 50 Cent to showcase his music and music he likes, and comment on news and user profile pages. Ludacris’ WeMix.com, on the other hand, is more of a hub for aspiring artists to upload their music.

ThisIs50.com. The gangsta MySpace. It’ll pop a cap in yo ass!

YOU’LL WIN AT EVERYTHING INCLUDING IRONY. TOP SCORE

Sony got hit with a lawsuit for using pirated software.

That’s it! Everyone out of the pool!