The Music Tank

Another week, another STF not ready on time. It’s not my fault, I passed out playing videogames on the couch, otherwise it would have been done. That’s my excuse anyway. Let’s go!

I CAN’T HEAR YOU

From Yahoo! News:

A song audible only to dogs has topped New Zealand record charts, and is looking to go global. “A Very Silent Night”, recorded at a frequency only dogs can hear, was so popular among owners it hit number one at Christmas, but has been receiving mixed responses from listeners.

“The most violent one was a dog that physically attacked the radio when it was played and went quite berserk and totally destroyed it,” said Bob Kerridge, chief executive of animal welfare group, the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals (SPCA), “On the other side of the scale, they just lie down and did nothing… Never having heard it myself, I don’t what they’ll hear and of course I don’t know how dogs hear music.”

The charity CD, priced at NZ$4.99 ($3.93), contained an instrumental and a vocal version of the song, but Kerridge said he did not know what kind of music dogs would hear. Kerridge added dogs in Australia and the United States could soon have a listen.

Around NZ$22,000 ($17,300) has been raised by the disc’s sale.

I. Want. This. Song. Fin.

COMINGS AND GOINGS

In honor of the NHL trade deadline, I’m introducing a new section this week. Seems I can’t browse music news without bands splitting up or firing members, etc etc, so I’ve decided to list changes just to show how hectic things can be. Ready?

• The Absence add drummer Justin Reynolds
• James Shaffer returned to Korn
• Chris Prophet leave HORSE the band, The Number Twelve Looks Like You drummer Jon Karel filling for remainder of tour
• Modern Life Is War calls it quits
• I Am The Ocean singer Kellen Dopp leaves the band
• Destroy Destroy Destroy drummer Eric W Brown leaves the band
• Týr drummer Kári Streymoy injured, temp replacement Amon Djurhuus

And I only started that list on Thursday. We’ll see what it looks like next week.

BALLS OF STEEL

The band Bury Your Dead had this update to give:

“On Saturday night, February 16th, BURY YOUR DEAD guitarist Eric Ellis was a victim of a random attack by 6 individuals following the band’s set at The Rave in Milwaukee, WI. Eric was held at gunpoint while the men hit him multiple times with a baseball bat and hammer. Previous reports of a robbery are false, as the Milwaukee police department has classified it as a “gang initiation”. Despite suffering what others would consider serious injuries Eric and the rest of BURY YOUR DEAD will move forward and continue with their tour alongside Hellyeah and take that into their headlining run with Emmure, The Warriors, and With Blood Comes Cleansing.”

“It will take more than this to stop Bury Your Dead, we’ll see you soon”

Kudos and props to Mister Ellis. Must have balls of steel to take a shit kicking, not go to the hospital and go on tour.

HE’S THE LORD OF THE WASTELAND, A MODERN DAY MAN OF STEEL

He’s got Shannon Tweed to please him, but who does he command to kneel?

From TeamSugar:

KISS principle Gene Simmons has a sex tape out, and it’s being promoted as co-starring a spokesmodel for an energy drink he endorses, Frank’s. You can pay $9.95 to watch it online through a website, GenesSecret.com, or you can view it all month and get access to other adult movies by paying $29.95.

Simmons has a live-in girlfriend, ex-porn star Shannon Tweed, who is featured on his “Family Jewels” reality show. They have two children together, Nicholas, 19, and Sophie, 16. It isn’t known if the sex tape is being used with his consent. The energy drink is credited for giving him stamina.

Oopah! Well, Gene fired back. The response, from Music-News:

Kiss’s Gene Simmons has commented on the alleged sex tape featuring him having sex with a woman identified as “Elsa,” a spokesmodel for Frank’s Energy Drink.

On his official website, Gene issued the following short response:

“You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past. Rest assured the proper legal team is looking at all ramifications and options.

And us? Shannon, Nick and Soph are happy and healthy. All is well. And thank you all for the kind words of support.”

Ramifications and options? What kind of options? Like how much of a cut you can get from the viewings? Anyway, here’s the last little bit of this I found before week’s end, courtesy ShowBiz Spy:

Showbiz Spy reports that Gene Simmons’ lawyers have started sending out cease-and-desist letters to those that have posted the now infamous “Gene Simmons sex tape” — and have pretty much confirmed it’s him in the video.

The letter, sent to Valleywag.com, reads, in part, “The video in question was surreptitiously filmed without Mr. Simmons’ knowledge by a woman named Traci Anna Koval.

“To the the extent that Ms. Koval ever claimed to have any interest in the video, which is both disputed and inconceivable, given its surreptitious filming, such rights were acquired by our client Allied Industry in 2003, pursuant to a written assignment and release agreement in which Ms. Koval assigned all of her interest in the video to Allied Industry, including the copyright, represented and warranted that no additional copies would be exploited or distributed and expressly consented to injunctive relief.”

The video, which surfaced on Tuesday, shows Simmons in bed with a woman identified as a spokesmodel for Frank’s Energy Drink. Simmons reportedly endorses the drink.

Photos on the site promoting the sex video show the couple going at it in several positions, with Simmons keeping his shirt on (and his pants around his ankles) and the woman wearing lingerie.

Simmons and longtime love, former Playboy model Shannon Tweed, have been a couple for over 20 years and have two children, 19-year-old Nicholas and 15-year-old Sophie.

I honestly don’t have anything witty to say about this. I think Gene has a good thing going on with Shannon freaking Tweed, who’s aged well, I’d say. Why a sex tape? It’ll probably blow over.

HANG IT UP ALREADY

Spinner.com reports that AC/DC bassist Cliff Williams said that the band intends to go back into the studio on March 1st to begin work on their 16th studio album.

Williams broke the news to Spinner.com while at the Rock and Roll Fantasy Camp. Williams also talked about a possible tour as well.

“If we go out again or when we go out again,” Williams said. “You just never know. We’ve been around a long time, so we’re going to get together and get in the studio and I fully expect we will [tour.]. I don’t mean to be so negative about that. [When] the last tour ended in early ‘01, you’d see kids on their dads’ shoulders. And these kids were like 10, 12 years old. It will be tremendous to see that again. And it’s very cool — younger kids getting into older music.”

I spat when I saw this. I think I’m one of the few that hate AC/DC. I’d rather shove a microphone up my ass, run down the block and make a rap song than listen to AC/DC. Honestly! They have what, 6 songs?

Motley Crue has set a July 8 release date for its ninth studio album, titled The Dirt. A yet-to-be-named single will arrive at radio stations on May 7. The record is based on the band’s 2001 memoir of the same name and will be its first all-new studio effort since 2000’s New Tattoo. Generation Swine (1997) was the last to feature the group’s original lineup, which reunited for a successful world tour in 2005.

Bassist Nikki Sixx wrote in a recent online update, “10 songs done for the new Crue album so far, I’m very proud of the songs. I think we’re onto some of the better songs we’ve had in years…Time will tell, of course. A couple of song titles on the Crue album are called ‘A Scar On Hollywood Boulevard’ and ‘The Saints Of Los Angeles’… The chemistry in the studio as we’re writing is unbelievable.”

The band is expected to start a new world tour in June or July.

Credit: Blabbermouth

Great. Another album from the band more effeminate then their female audience. Yeah, cheap shot, I know.

NEWS FROM HOME

First things first, both the articles I’m citing are from Blabbermouth.

So, I’m from the wonderful armpit of northwestern Ontario, Thunder Bay. We’re a backwater city and not much goes on here that will get noticed elsewhere. Except…

According to Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada’s Source, a 17-year-old Thunder Bay youth will return to court next month for sentencing after pleading to guilty to charges related to a bizarre arson case.

The young man was apprehended on October 14 after breaking into and setting fires at two Balmoral Street churches. Evidence heard in the case indicates the youth had been influenced by listening to heavy metal music and had learned to make the napalm used to set the fires on the Internet.

Damage to one of the churches was estimated at about $100,000 while the repair bill at the other was about $12,000. The accused was convicted Friday on two counts each of break-and-enter and arson. He’ll be sentenced on February 20.

Follow up, same source:

Thunder Bay, Ontario, Canada’s The Chronicle Journal has revealed more details about a Canadian black metal fan’s guilty plea to a charge of arson and a second offense of break and enter while committing mischief and attempted arson in connection with setting fires at two Thunder Bay churches.

The 16-year-old youth, who cannot be identified under the Youth Criminal Justice Act, will be sentenced February 20 in Ontario Court.

Crown counsel (prosecutor) Alec Hardiejowski said on the night of October 14 the youth took a napalm-type device and used it to torch the Central Evangelical Free Church on Balmoral Street.

This brazen act was committed next to the Thunder Bay Police headquarters.

The fire was confined to three back rooms.

The fire and break-in activated an alarm and police and fire department personnel responded to the fire.

The youth then broke into the Evangelical Church next door and tried to set a fire there as well.

Police officers heard noises at the church and investigated to find the youth inside who challenged them “to come and get me.” They did and placed him under arrest.

Damage to both churches was estimated at about CAD $117,000.

Defense attorney Chris Watkins said his client was influenced by heavy metal music, especially black metal music.

Outside the court Watkins said the youth felt he had to punish the churches for alleged incidents committed hundreds of years ago.

“Part of his rationale at the time was that he believed the churches were responsible for the persecution of specific groups such as minorities and witches in medieval times,” he said.

“He felt the church represents a bad thing in society and he had to punish them.”

The youth underwent a five-day psychiatric assessment shortly after the incidents but Watkins said he has made progress since then and the psychological report doesn’t reflect his mental state today.

Oopah! So yes, [to cover my own ass] under the Youth Criminal Justice Act we can’t name the person in the article. I do however, know him. It’s a crock of shit that they’re blaming metal for his actions. He had an opinion and that’s how he chose to express it.

I’m also suprised at how many “throw the book at him”-esque statments were made in the Blabbermouth comments section. Give it a rest, will you? Shall we throw the book at the rest of us because we download music?

The Music Tank does not condone illegally downloading music or burning churches. Sending us checks for obscene amounts of money is cool though. Especially BlackMage. And Fake, he needs to keeps this place running. But nothing for Half Baked.

BEST OF THE WORST

From Music-News:

Jennifer Lopez has told hospital staff not to enter the room where she will give birth. The singer is set to give birth to twins, her first children with husband Marc Anthony and has asked staff at Long Island’s North Shore Medical Center not to use the room until she arrives. A source said: “There is a room, which even has a brown leather couch that has been sitting empty for two weeks now. No-one is even allowed in there until she gets here. It’s just sitting there for her.” The hospital has reportedly prepared an entire suite for the 38-year-old star, complete with wooden flooring and a giant TV.

It was recently revealed the hospital has been put on kidnap alert. Staff have been undertaking specialist ‘Code Pink’ drills to ensure they are prepared in case anyone attempts to snatch Jennifer’s babies.

What? Kidnap alert? No one would be able to get into the room if they just block the door with J’Lo’s ass!

From 1up:

Over the holiday weekend, Trademork — a site that by its very existence reveals the extent to which humanity is obsessed with getting the earliest possible information — revealed that Activision has trademarked the name DJ Hero.

Specifically, Activision has reserved it for the purposes of “computer game software and related instruction manual sold together as a unit; interactive video game programs; computer game discs; downloadable software for use in connection with computer games; video game controllers; interactive video game comprised of a CD or DVD sold as a unit with a video game controller.” Hmm… software sold as a unit with a controller… DJ Hero… sounds familiar!

This of course comes with the usual caveat that a trademark does not equal an announcement — there’s no official word that Activision is currently or will soon be developing a disc jockeying offshoot of Guitar Hero, complete with faux turntables and mixer. It does seem to suggest that Activision is at least considering it; otherwise, unless they’re protecting the ‘Hero’ brand against imposters, why take the initiative to protect the trademark?

DJ Hero, if it ever is made, wouldn’t be the first game to be controlled with a turntable. Konami had much success in Japan with a turntable control setup for their Beatmania series, with a PlayStation 2 version eventually released in the United States in 2006. But then, this wouldn’t be the first time key aspects of a Konami music rhythm game were repurposed for western audiences, would it?

Now you too can be DJ Fuckface! I hope they’re merely protecting the trademark.

SHOUT OUTS

Do you like hip hop? Were you set off by my “DJ Fuckface” comment? Perhaps you’d like to check out the Overground Sewer! Half Baked is taking a look at his favorite 10 albums of 2007 and who knows? You might wanna pick up what he’s listening too (there, I hope that makes up for the “don’t send Half Baked any money” thing earlier).

Alright, now that I forgot how actually show a YouTube video in the article and forgot to use the “Paste as plain text” feature that Fake put in, you can see Blabbermouth put up an article on how a Queens of the Stone Age fan was dragged out in the alley behind his house and shot!

Just kidding, Fake wouldn’t do that.

I hope.

Remember, sometimes truth is stranger than fiction.